Paul v Heather

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife
are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes
about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from
his  wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be
distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She
said in an  earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened,
I'm really stumped"

"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend,
"she will need all the support she can get. It's not like its
easy to walk out on a relationship like this"

After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever
consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.

It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the
marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if
an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to
stand on.

Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may
have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to
get her leg over".

Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the
cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get
home at night and find her legless"

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present
that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic
leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate
"I'm f---ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try
Paul McCartney"

Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:

I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river

She Stood on the bridge at Midnight
Her lips were all a quiver
She gave a cough, her leg fell off
And floated down the river.

These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she
has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill
her shoe.

Paul vs Heather