Installing a husband

INSTALLING A HUSBAND
>
> Dear Tech Support:
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
> distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in
the flower
> and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
> Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
> programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
>
> Conversation 80 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
> system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
> avail.
>
> What can I do?
>
> Signed,
> Desperate
>
> DEAR DESPERATE:
>
> First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment Package,
while Husband

> 1.0 is an operating system.
>
> Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears
> 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application
> works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
> applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
>
> But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
> default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please
note that
> Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring
Loudly Beta .
>
> Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the
> background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources.)
>
> Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
> unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited memory
> and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
> additional software to improve memory and performance. We
recommend Cooking
> 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
>
> Good Luck,
> Tech Support