Armenian Radio

This is Armenian Radio. Our listeners asked us, "Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union the same as there is the USA?"
We're answering: "In principle, yes. In the USA, you can stand in front of the Washington Monument in Washington, DC, and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished. In the Soviet Union, you can stand in the Red Square in Moscow and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished."

This is Armenian Radio. Our listeners asked us, "Is it possible to build communism in America?" We're answering: "It's possible, but who will we buy grain from?"

This is Armenian Radio. Our listeners asked us, "Is it true that capitalism is on the verge of the abyss?" We're answering: "In principle, yes. But we are already one step further."

This is Armenian Radio. Our listeners asked us, "Is there censorship if the press in the Soviet Union?" We're answering: "In principle, no. But unfortunately we can't go into details."

This is Armenian Radio. Our listeners asked us, "Would it also be possible to introduce Socialismus in Switzerland?" We're answering: "In principle, yes. But it would be a pity."

This is Armenian Radio. Our listeners asked us, "Is it allowed to critisize the party?" We're answering: "In principle, yes. But you live more comfortably in your own four walls."

This is Armenian Radio. Our listeners asked us, "When the final phase of socialism, namely communism, is built, will there still be thefts and pilfering?"We're answering: "No, because everything will be already pilfered during socialism."

This is Armenian Radio. Our listeners asked us, "Is there a difference between capitalism and communism?" We're answering: "In principle, yes. In capitalism, man exploits man. In communism, it's the reverse."

This is Armenian Radio. Our listeners asked us, "Under communism will we still have money?" We're answering: "No, none of that either."